The Fallout of Leadership Decision-Making: Poor Decisions and Indecision

Our last three newsletters explored the complexity that leaders face when a complaint of emotional harm comes to a leader about someone they oversee. We unpacked the unique challenges of the situation, examined the range of ways an Accused might respond, and considered how a Leader can remain agile in the midst of it all.

Exploring these dynamics helps us build empathy for the weight a Leader carries. Yet as we focus on their task, we must not lose sight of those most impacted—the Complainant, whose courage in naming the issue set the process in motion.

How a Leader navigates this process is often shaped by their awareness of a Complainant’s journey—which is where we’ll turn in our next series.

The following reflection offers a glimpse into what a Complainant carries: the uncertainty, emotional toll, and hope that their voice might bring needed change.

To those who have raised concerns, and may have been left disappointed—this one’s for you.

Lessons Learned the Hard Way

Not everyone is equipped for the responsibility entrusted to them.

And that’s only a subtle indictment—being a bit out of our depth is what keeps us growing.

But that doesn’t mean you needed to be tossed around by their indecision or poor decisions.

An Empathetic Witness

I’m sorry you never got to hear:

I see your pain. I see what they’ve done to you. I’m sorry.

Or maybe you did hear those words, but they felt empty when nothing changed.

Pain can stay trapped in our bodies when we’re denied an empathetic witness.

Keep the Concern in Front of Them

If you feel like you’re screaming into a void—if it feels like no one’s listening—as best as you can, find safe people to fall apart with.

And with everyone else, maintain composure.

People will try to throw out your concern along with your response if they deem it inflammatory or “too emotional.”

Don’t let them.

Be bold and measured in naming your experiences.

Do it in a way that’s beyond reproach.

Don’t give them the easy way out—don’t let them get distracted by how you raised a concern instead of dealing with the concern itself.

Developing Your Intuition

Your body was designed to protect you.

When it senses something is off, explore what that sense is telling you.

Your concerns will be incredibly inconvenient for some—especially when organizations have lost sight of who they exist to serve.

Find people who will sit with you in the struggle. Keep them close.

But more than that, your greatest asset will be you intuition. Learn to pay attention and be curious.

On the Other Side

When you’re on the other side you’ll be amazed at how far you’ve come—how much you’ve grown.

The world will look less shiny.

You’ll have learned that people can be disappointing, and outcomes don’t always unfold the way you’d hoped.

But somehow, you’ll be grateful for the struggle.

Though tired, you’ll notice your muscles have strengthened—ready for whatever complexities come next.

With the illusion faded, you’ll see with a precision that wasn’t available to you before.

People will say you’re wise beyond your years. And only you will know what that cost you.